Making Space and Respecting Student Identity

At the start of last school year, I made a decision that I swiftly came to regret and one that I have worked to undo ever since.For context, I am an English, theater, and creative writing teacher in Greenup County, Kentucky. We are rural eastern Kentuckians, and Greenup is a place where our identity is defined less by town or by city and more by county-wide hills and hollers. I check all of the expected and privileged boxes: straight, white, middle-class, cis-gendered, etc. Naturally, I have blind spots due to my experiences and identity when it comes to knowing, honoring, and understanding the varied lives and identities of my students. Sometimes though, even when we know better, we choose not to do better.Teachers know that strong relationships are of primary importance in good teaching. Students need to know that their teachers understand their interests, respect their thoughts and beliefs, and care about who they are before they feel safe to learn. Many teachers use a “Get to Know You” survey at the start of each year. These surveys are familiar to any K-12 student and include questions about hobbies and goals, about siblings and friends, and other expected icebreaker information. Because of the great work of LGBTQ+ activists and allies, many educators have included a question about preferred pronouns in their surveys.This year, when adapting my existing student survey, I chose not to include a question about preferred pronouns. I can hear my inner monologue now: You know, Rob, you probably aren’t going to have many trans kids this year. If you do, I’m sure you’ll figure it out and can handle it individually. No big deal – the kids’ll let you know! Looking back, I can see I was justifying the exclusion.I assumed this question would not apply to my students – rural, eastern Kentuckians from a generally conservative community. I felt this sort of question was unnecessary. Perhaps it could apply to one student, but I would be able to identify that student quickly and speak with them privately to honor their choice. Also, choosing to do this individually lessened the possibility that I would face the ire of concerned parents or administrators. This school year started with furor around Critical Race Theory and gender identity, and I let these larger contexts suppress inclusive practices.There is rarely a more humbling experience than realizing you have let your students down.I went several weeks in classes calling students by their given names and the pronouns I had assumed for them. It wasn’t until a co-worker shared with me that a student had requested to be called by a preferred name and by other pronouns. It was humbling that this student had shared this information with another teacher and asked that the information be shared with me.I must have sent the message that I was unwilling or unresponsive to students’ identities and expressions at the start of the year and with my student survey. Though I knew about gender identity, preferred pronouns, and more, I made a choice rooted in my own experience and values. We must move outside of ourselves to recognize and honor our students. Shifting the use of pronouns and respecting students’ names is a simple way to validate students who all need belonging and support.It takes bravery to be one’s authentic self and share that self in a public arena, even if that space may not be the most welcoming. We teachers – especially those of us who are straight, white, and cisgender – must acknowledge and protect our students. Something as simple as a preferred name and a pronoun can decrease the occurrence of suicide attempts in transgender and nonbinary teens (according to The Trevor Project). Such a simple inclusion can make a huge difference, and as any good teacher knows, making a difference is what we dedicate our lives to doing.There are myriad ways to support student identity and diversity, including preferred pronouns at the beginning of the year surveys, continually fielding conversations and communicating openness to student identity and expression, and auditing and improving curricula to include diverse perspectives and voices create an environment that supports and respects students. Now that I have seen the cost of ignoring and avoiding the need for students to be seen and validated, I know better and I am resolved to do better. I won’t make the same mistake twice.